© 2023 By Jarvis J Ross @ www.jjplanter.com

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By Jarvis J. Ross

Monday, November 6, 2023

12:00 NOON

FOUNDATION FOR FAMILY FORUMS (Phase I-Part III)

—A Twofold Approach to Healing from Traumatic Experiences—

This process for healing applies to all sorts of relationships from dating, marriage, religious, political, social, business, and bi-racial.

RECONCILIATION (R)—The Friendship:

The root word for reconciliation is not found in the Old Testament manuscripts. Instead, the word is derived from the Greco-Roman world culture. The Apostle Paul may have obtained the word from the nature of the covenant agreement from God’s Covenant Promise to Israel.

The Hebrew word for covenant is “bĕriyth” and it implies a “cutting” by passing between the flesh of an animal. Consequently, the blood of the covenant would provide the atonement(covering) for trespasses that were committed. It is a mutual agreement between God that can be applied to a mutual agreement between two people or two parties. Thus, reconciliation atones for the breaches in a relationship.

The Greek word for reconciliation is “katallage.” When individuals are reconciled to God through “Good News,” they are given the gift of reconciliation to be reconciled to others in the Body of Christ and those they seek to reach to restore the relationship.

And all these things are from God who reconciled us to himself through Christ, and who has given us the ministry of reconciliation.

In other words, in Christ God was reconciling the world to himself, not counting people’s trespasses against them, and he has given us the message of reconciliation.

Therefore we are ambassadors for Christ, as though God were making his plea through us. We plead with you on Christ’s behalf, “Be reconciled to God!” (2 Corinthians 5:18-20)

In Simple, Plain Language, God Has Given Every Disciple Who Follows The Way Of The Lord A Ministry Of Reconciliation. It Becomes Every Believer’s Responsibility To Seek To Resolve Breaches (Peace Makers) In Relationships That “Pricks” Their Heart. If There Is No Conviction Of Conscience, There Can Be No Reconciliation. That Is If Accountability Has Not Done Its Job.

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Taken from the context of the sacred text of Scripture, reconciliation creates the “opportunity” that should be followed for harmony of relationship and unity of purpose. Let’s take those two parameters of reconciliation and elaborate on them separately. The idea of that form of reconciliation comes from the words of the Lord recorded in Matthew 18:18-20:

I tell you the truth, whatever you bind on earth will have been bound in heaven, and whatever you release on earth will have been released in heaven.

Again, I tell you the truth, if two of you on earth agree about whatever you ask, my Father in heaven will do it for you.

For where two or three are assembled in my name, I am there among them.

The key word above is “agree” recorded in verse 19. In the original Greek language from whence the New Testament was translated, it comes from a musical score for harmony orchestrated by a maestro. In that case, the Lord is the Maestro who conducts the relationship. But it is also implicit in being unified by purpose. To understand that, let’s look at the historical context of how the words were developed. Here’s a breakdown of reconciliation through word studies and the human experience behind its development.

The concept of harmony of relationshipand unity of purpose comes from the Old Testament aldermen (City Counselmen) who met at the gate of the city to deliberate business on behalf of the city. The agreement would have to be 100% for the legislation to pass to be implemented in the city, called in translations “loosing.” If at least one person disagreed with the legislation, it was “bound” and the legislation was tabled until the next meeting for 100% agreement. There was no such rule of order as agreeing to disagree. The point is, if at least two believers would agree together about God’s Kingdom Mandate or the cause of Christ, God would sanction the agreement in Heaven and make it happen on Earth. That sanctioning by God would first produce a reconciled relationship between the persons or parties who have prayed for the cause of Christ. The question is, do we “really” believe that?

—Resolving Conflict—

Conflict is as simple as two people trying to occupy the same space. To accommodate the conflict, we must enlarge the space and make room for the other person. (My upcoming book, “How to Grow Plants through Concrete” addresses, in detail, how this happens through relegation.) Practically, it means that we must redraw the lines between us or erase them. It’s best to erase the lines by burying the hatchet. The origin of the phrase “bury the hatchet” comes from a centuries-old expression among the Native American Tribes. Whenever a chief would make peace with rival chiefs, they would “literally” bury the hatchet. Burying the hatchet refers to several qualities that enable reconciliation: 1) Be open-minded about what offended you; 2) Accept the other person’s apology under the conviction that enables you to say, “I’m sorry.” Apologize, if you think it’s true, but if you don't think it’s true, move on to forgiveness. ; 3) Forgive them; 4) Pursue peace.

The prelude point to consider is that God never intended for conflict to divide His people or families. Conflict becomes a point of reconciliation because it reveals the problem and the solution is within the conflict. In that light, friendship is an open disclosure of “self” extracted from the life of Christ as a prime example. Speaking to His Disciples about God’s business in John 15:15 can be applied to sharing information with like-minded family members and other believers about our lives: “I no longer call you slaves, because the slave does not understand what his master is doing. But I have called you friends, because I have revealed to you everything I heard from my Father.” However, a word of caution here. Sharing one’s private intimate business can become the source of rumors that distort what you have shared and worsen the problem.

Those secret things in the inner chambers of our hearts that no one knows but us, should be revealed gradually over time created by “situational opportunity,” when we think the person is ready. Or, if the problem is too deep to handle, the person should be advised to seek professional therapy, especially if the abuses they experienced and the toxic pain were unbearable. So, let me draw the line here. For the more serious abuses such as severe sexual-physical abuse and toxic traumas, such as experiencing or witnessing some form of severe violence, I recommend professional therapy. Neither do I recommend sharing those types of abuses and traumas in these sessions.

So, be careful what you share, even testimonies, because some people may not be ready to hear it. Building a friendship is a gradual process like peeling the layers off of an onion. The deeper you get, the more painful the issues. The depth of what we share should be within the scriptural perspective of how God sees our lives, regardless of what others think. That brings us to our closing statement about a reconciled covenant relationship.

Reconciliation commits to a covenant relationship and crosses the boundaries that divide and builds the bridge between our differences. REAL FRIENDSHIP FOR A BELIEVER LIES WITHIN THE CONTEXT OF A COVENANT RELATIONSHIP WITH THE LORD AND ONE ANOTHER. THEN USED AS THE MEANS TO MEND BREACHES IN OTHER RELATIONSHIPS.

(CONTINUED . . . .)